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Will I Trust?

March 13, 2010

That is one huge question…will I trust? Or is it? I think the size of that question is relative to the answer of the next one…WHO do I trust?

Trusting in people is a huge risk. They are imperfect. They might let me down. Or they might build me up too much instead of giving me the honesty in love that I really need.

And then there is that question of motive. What is motivating people? Is it always my good…or could it be that there is something they are trying to gain for themselves? Can we, as humans, ever have truly pure motives without our flesh getting in there somewhere? Can you? Can I?

Trusting in Yahweh is also risky. “Woah”, you are probably thinking. “Trusting Yahweh is risky?” Yep, it sure is! Of course…how risky also depends upon another question…WHAT are you trusting Him with?

The most important thing I can entrust Him with is my spiritual well being. Through Yeshua/Jesus, the Messiah, I can trust that He will bring me through to the end. I can trust that I will be with Him forever and that He will finish the work He has begin in me. On some levels, that is an easier and simpler kind of trust.

Assurance of an eternity with my heavenly Abba/Father is really nice, but how much does that really impact me in this life? Am I on my own here, just waiting for Him to take me in the end? What about trusting Him in this life? Does He really care about what happens to me here…other than preserving me for eternity? Scripture tells me that He does.

Yet…there is the real challenge…at least for me. I find it more difficult to trust Him for my physical life here and now than I do for my eternal life later. Although nothing can happen that He does not either cause or allow, I can still struggle with things in my life. I see how my faith grows as He meets my needs…or as He gets me through things. I believe that I am being changed for the better.

Yet…when things are happening that are beyond my control…do I simply rest in Him? Or do I struggle against what is happening? Do I really trust that He is at work in all things? Can I rest in Him, knowing that He will work all things out…for good?

I am so much better at it now than I have been in the past. Yet, it seems as if my trust is really something He is doing in me…and not really something I do. I can make a choice to trust, but does that really result in trusting? I don’t know. I think that my choice to trust is a step of faith that He honors by then producing that ability to trust within me.

I like how the CJB translates “faith”…it uses the word “trust”. That means a lot more to me as the word “faith” seems to have become so common place that I wonder how many of us even think any more about what it really signifies? I trust my heavenly Abba. Trust and faith…two ways of saying the same thing.

The word says that to each a measure of faith is given. Rom 12:3 That means that He has given me a certain amount of the ability to trust to start with. Can it grow? I believe it can. I know that, in my own life, the more I have chosen to trust…the more I have been able to trust…the more I have seen Him move in ways that are nothing short (in my mind) of incredible.

Have the ways He has moved always been a lot of fun? NO! Have the things I have gone through that have helped me to grow in trusting Him been a lot of fun? NO! It has mostly been very difficult…yet I would not trade them for anything. (I cannot say that I would necessarily have chosen them, either, though.)

I can see that everything that happens to me is for my benefit…on some level. I have that assurance from Him. Rom 8:28 Yet…it does not always SEEM or FEEL as if it is for my benefit. Nope. Sometimes, as I am stretched seemingly beyond my ability to cope, it FEELS as if it is not for my good.

We have been living in a really difficult living situation…one that is actually unhealthy. So…how is that for my benefit? Well…maybe it isn’t all about me and my benefit. Maybe…in the process of His growing my faith…my ability to trust Him…someone else’s faith is growing, too? It is possible. I do hear from others how they feel strengthened when they see my persistent faith in spite of all that is going on.

So, I will choose to be thankful for these things that cause my trust in Him to grow…for these hard things. 1 Th 5:18, Eph 5:20 Seriously…I do hope they change soon, but there again is trust. I am trusting my Abba that He knows my limits and will not put me beyond what I am able to bear. He will equip me (and is equipping me) to go through this all the way through to the end. It may not feel as if I am going to make, but I know I can trust Him. And I will continue to talk to Him about it. Php 4:6

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 13, 2010 9:38 pm

    Dear abisthoughtsongod:

    My name is Leora Trub and I am a student in the Clinical Psychology Ph.D. Program at The Graduate Center of the City University of New York (CUNY). I am conducting a study of the reasons that people blog and what benefits it brings, which at this point are still largely unexplored in research studies. I am therefore reaching out to you as a blogger who can help deepen our understanding of this phenomenon. I believe that your voice is an important one to be heard and hope you will enjoy participating in the study. I have developed an online questionnaire that asks about specific aspects of blogging as well as asking about feelings about yourself and others. The survey is a mix of numerical scales and opportunities to reflect in an open-ended format about the role of blogging in your life, and how it has changed over time.

    You are eligible to participate if you are at least 21 years of age and have been maintaining an English-language personal blog for at least six months that you update or visit at least twice a week (on average). Your participation involves completing a confidential online questionnaire. The data will be downloaded onto a secure server to which only I have access. No identifying information, such as your names or address, will be collected, and you will be given the opportunity to be identified by a code name in research reports and to have your blog description changed slightly so it cannot be identified if you wish.

    The survey takes approximately 45 minutes to complete and participation is completely voluntary. Three participants who complete the survey will be randomly selected by a lottery to receive a $75 cash prize.

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    In order to participate in this study, I need to send you an invitation through survey monkey. If you are interested, please send an email to from the email address to which you would like the invitation sent. I hope that you will decide to participate and also that you will share it with others if you decide you would like to. Please feel free to contact me with any questions.


    Leora Trub, M.A.
    Doctoral student in Clinical Psychology
    Graduate School of the City University of New York
    365 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10016-4309

  2. noh8 permalink
    March 13, 2010 10:02 pm

    I think you hit on it early in the post.
    In order to trust anyone, God or man, you must first understand their motives.
    BTW, if you want to change the text color in your header, you can do that the same place you uploaded your picture.

    • March 14, 2010 11:09 am

      Motives are very important. Understanding them can really help, especially when things are not going the way we think they should.

      It is very difficult to find a color that is very readable on that kind of background. I probably need to change my header photo.

      Thanks for coming by. 🙂

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